When I first picked up Hillbilly Elegy in 2020 I was not prepared to contemplate poor America. Being an immigrant, without a solid income, I can feel all sorts of emotions related to money, wealth status and opportunity. I needed more optimistic and inspirational stories at the time so I put the book to one side.
While those thoughts and feelings still exist, and they came to the fore nearer the end of the book, it was nice to read the book through an observational lens in 2022. I found JD Vance’s story of his rise from small town Hillbilly America to Yale law school captivating, quirky and funny.
Many of JD family stories are hilarious. I laughed out loud numerous times, which sucked my wife into the story. She asked me to read passages out loud to her when they made me laugh. It was enjoyable to share the book with her.
You probably need to read the book to appreciate the humour but it hinged on the culture clash of JD Vance’s hillbilly family with the rest of the world. Hillbillies are a different breed…
Loving and kind but aggressive when attacked. Strong family loyalty but mired with broken families, childhood trauma and abuse. Practical, down-to-earth, and often hard-working people but often lacking in self-belief and ambition. Fiercely independent but can also see themselves as victims and become prone to self-sabotage.
As the book unfolded my connection to some of the stories, theories and patterns of behaviour deepened. JD sketched out the damaging and destructive cycle of broken families, mired with abuse (physical, mental and verbal), unstable relationships, and alcohol & drug abuse. He pointed out the long-term impact of these formative experiences on him and his current relationships despite the fact that he was able to break out of the cycle, go to Yale and live the American Dream. This resonated with me because I know people with relatable experiences from the past that are not obvious until one digs deeper below the emotional surface. At first it can be difficult to understand why they act the way that they do in certain circumstances.
In reality, we are all a product of our past. Our formative experiences remain with us no matter the difference between the world we used to inhabit and our present conditions. I often say that “everyone has trauma” because I do think that we all have challenges from our youth that we need to work through. That being said, I am incredibly lucky not to have experienced the examples mentioned in the book. These events or feelings are the most common Adverse Childhood Experiences:
- being sworn at, insulted or humiliated by parents
- being pushed, grabbed or having something thrown at you
- feeling that your family did not support each other
- having parents who are separated or divorced
- living with an alcoholic or drug abuser
- living with someone who was depressed or attempted suicide
- watching a loved one be physically abused
Many of these are far more traumatic that anything I could imagine. It breaks one’s heart to consider the long-term trauma created by these experiences on a young child and it reminds me to keep my shit together with my own child. Reading JD’s story provided me a rich perspective of the impact of emotional trauma. I hope that allows me to live with greater compassion and understanding because there are millions of people whose actions are a product of trauma.
Sound Money 